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Momentary Lapse

by Nat Shaheen

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1.
Cradle 04:15
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I won't forget how hard I fell tryna get to you Knowing the consequences doesn't change what I'd do I spent the day searching the confines of my room Unlock the screen so I can be a part of the view You'll never hold them You'll never cradle everyone you want But that doesn't mean you I didn't mean you shouldn't open up I should've tried my luck Peeling the film off of the memories I kept so safe I go out walking 'til the sun turns me away Outside the sharpened disappointment in my chest It's not like sadness is a state I ever left You'll never hold them You'll never cradle everyone you want But that doesn't mean you I didn't mean you shouldn't open up You'll never forget you'll never wonder what it was they saw But that doesn't mean you I didn't mean you won't grow past it all Won't always feel that small
2.
Keychain 03:43
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Don't wanna end up like them That's what you said
Before you headed off And I walked home in the twilight The trees still waiving Like water flows Found a keychain in the pocket of my coat And your mother kept the note I sent when you left for a month Call from my front yard One sunday morning I didn't know yet The comedown cut right through your chest I couldn't stop it I double over Found a picture in the front seat of my car The one we took at the end of the party I'm not so bad anymore But it's hard to change Still one foot out the door But that's why you love me Isn't it?
3.
Void 03:58
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I will return to you Just give me a month I looked too far back this time It confused all my thoughts Obsessively dreaming, I fantasize About things I can't change I will return to you As the void rearranges I'll lay in the driveway of my parent's house Let my body de-thaw Sing my little love songs Or maybe they're not I have no idea What I really am So how can they love me If I don't understand it? If I don't understand it, I don't understand I don't understand it, you all understand You all understand it, I don't understand They all understand They all understand
4.
Anywhere, Anywhere 03:20
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You're coming back home for a couple of days You totaled your car, I'm just glad that you're okay I haven't seen you in such a long time I heard that you're busy with work and a new life I met your partner behind your old house They're gonna propose but you don't know that right now I've never lied about something so big I hope that you're happy 'Cause you do deserve it I hope that you're happy I know you've been trying I wanna be happy Not good at goodbyes yet I know that you're happy You know I've been trying Wanna be happy It's just not my time yet It's just not my time yet (I'll meet you there, I'll be home soon Would go anywhere to see it through) It's just not my time yet (I'll meet you there, I'll be home soon Go anywhere to see it through)
5.
The Fool 07:21
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I don't wanna play the fool The little kid with a burnt up forearm and head unscrewed If I could I'd try to stop But I let you run me over And then thank you for helping me back up Doesn't matter that I'm lonely if you're not 'Cause everybody loves the fool who fits the part And I've gotten really good at acting tough Then I'm stuck facing myself again You've been asking where I go When we talk you feel a shadow through the phone But I'd rather laugh you off Bite my nails until they're bleeding And then thank you for noticing at all Doesn't matter that I'm lonely if you're not Cause everybody loves the fool who fits the part And I've gotten really good at acting tough But we both know that I know that's not enough I'll figure it out Don't give up on me now I'll figure it out Don't give up on me now I'll figure it out Don't give up on me now I'll figure it out Don't give up on me now

about

At the base of Nat Shaheen’s left bicep is a line of tattooed text: “In the house of the heart,” it reads, a reference to an essay about hearts and hummingbirds. Joyas Voladores, the essay is called. Flying jewels. The fragment was excerpted from the essay’s conclusion. “We are utterly open with no one in the end,” author Brian Doyle writes. “Not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart.” This unshakeable aloneness wasn’t something 24-year-old Shaheen wanted to wish upon herself, let alone inscribe onto her skin. So she disappeared it, diverting her attention instead toward the image of the heart protected and housed.

This penchant for words and reverence for their power undergirds Shaheen’s debut EP, Momentary Lapse—a collection of five songs that themselves feel like flying jewels. Guitars hum warm as if reverberating off a cabin wall. Pianos sparkle like stars in a clear north sky. Synths sputter and float, irreverent and searching around the lilting rasp of Shaheen’s voice, like a ghost seeking solace in a house’s eaves.

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released March 31, 2023

Written by Nat Shaheen
Engineered and Produced by Omar Akrouche
Mastered by Andy Clarke

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Nat Shaheen Los Angeles, California

lover and a fighter in los angeles, ca

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